Archive for the ‘Goal Achieving’ Category

Put Yourself In Control

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but the light bulb has to really want to change.

 

In that joke lies a great truth. If you want a better life and to get what you deserve, you have to want it, and badly. The desire to change lies below your fears, deep down in your soul. It’s that part of you that longs to say, “I’m tired of this and I’m not going to take it anymore.” When you feel this strongly, all you need is a bit of guidance and encouragement.

 

Wanting to change doesn’t mean that you must do it right away. It’s your choice to move slowly, moderately, or quickly, based on circumstances and personal preference. And it’s best to tackle one problem area at a time so you don’t get overwhelmed. This is your first official act of rebellion against the voices that dictate your most private choices.

 

Put yourself in control. Here are your options:

 

Small steps. This involves a commitment to change by staying focused on your needs. These are actions you take every day, choices that may seem insignificant individually. For example, reading this article is an action of intent that shows you want a more productive life. Small steps can also make your life and relationships more rewarding while reducing the resistance you might encounter. Let’s say you’re constantly chauffeuring your teen daughter around; maybe you’re not ready to refuse her request, but you can simply not offer to drive.

 

Longer strides. This requires a commitment to taking action by finding a middle road of compromise. Longer strides lead to intentional actions, setting boundaries, and holding your bottom line. For instance, you might tell your daughter that you intend to limit the number of times you’ll act as her driver and ask her to come up with a new arrangement that would fulfill both your needs. At times, longer strides may lead to a rocky path of confrontation and opposition. This is the choice of the truly frustrated, sometimes brave and often desperate.

 

Life-changing leaps. This involves making unilateral decisions and acting on your own behalf without the input of others. Life-changing leaps are reserved for people who feel they have no other choice. Although quick, profound change can be exhilarating, it can be followed by self-doubt and fear of repercussions. For example, you might place strict limits on the number of times you’ll act as driver for your daughter, along with requirements regarding how much advance notice you’ll need. Then, if you weren’t given enough notice, you’d refuse the request even if your daughter responds with threats or temper tantrums.

What You Think About …

What you think about gives you your experience

and your future.

 
Have you ever wondered how come some people seem to have all the time in the world, and others are always rushing? And did you notice that the ones who are always in a hurry are not necessarily the most effective or successful people?
 
What if it there were certain principles at play here, principles that those high performing yet calm people seem to have mastered, while others (most of us..) struggle to fit yet another commitment into our already full lives?
 
And if there were such principles, what would they be?
 
For certain it must have something to do with how these people think and what they choose to focus on.
 
There are 4 levels of thinking at play here, which each create very different experiences in life, work and business.
 
At the first level you have a great time AND gets lots done easily. This is where you do what feels good and you know it is good for you, for others and for the greater community / environment / world. The things you think, focus on and do at this level are the things that you do easily, that are familiar to you, that you are good at, that have meaning for you and that fulfill you. They can be very different things for different people. For me it is a variety of business and pleasure activities that I enjoy, and that are really easy and enjoyable for me to do. As easy as riding a bike…
 
The ultimate goal for all of us would be to spend as much as time as we possibly can at this level. This is where life is really great, juicy, exciting, rewarding, fulfilling, fun!
 
However…. Most things in life, in business, at work and also at home and at play, only become that easy AFTER you’ve learned how to do them, after you put the effort in, after you tried and often tried some more, after practice. And often some (literal or proverbial) sweat and maybe even some tears come into it to. In other words, they became easy (‘level 1’) because you gave it your best for quite a while at “level 2”, where you did the things that did not feel that good to do when you did them, but which you know where good for you, good for others and good for the greater good.
 
The best example is getting into an exercise regime… for most people that does NOT feel good at the start (and maybe even a while into it). It hurts to get those muscles working, it is hard work, and it takes effort and commitment and persistence. However, we also know that it is good for our own health now and that it will make us feel and look better over time. We know it is good for the people around us who benefit from a healthier and fitter us. And it is good for the community, as we will be able to contribute more- and possibly cost less in health care dollars over time, if we are fit.
 
In business and at work this means doing the things that are uncomfortable, unfamiliar, new, risky, and that you KNOW you need to do because they will give you the results you are after—those new customers, that happier and more effective team, that increase in sales, that finished project.
 
Level 2 means being willing to do the work, whatever that looks and feels like. It means making a decision to start it and stick to it, no matter what.
 
And has its amazing rewards. Because once you have learned the thing, made the shift, created the new system, or whatever it is that needed to be broken through in the discomfort of level 2, you move into level 1. Which is where things are easy, mainly because you experience a level of mastery, and that most certainly feels good!
 
Guess what, there is another level, level 3. Where we do things that do make us feel good, BUT they are NOT good for us, not good for others nor good for the greater good. They ‘feel’ good because they keep us comfortable and are inside of what we are familiar with.
And we also know deep down (or often not really that deep) that these very actions are harming or at least not supporting us. Like eating too much chocolate, like procrastinating about those phone calls. Like putting of that report that really needs to be finished, or that uncomfortable review with that non-performing team member.
 
This is were we take the easy road out, because we don’t want to confront the discomfort of doing something new, unfamiliar, risky, scary.
 
And we pay a price for that, as things at best stay the same. More likely though they get worse and we don’t expand, don’t grow, and don’t move forward.
 
Eventually if we spend too much time in level 3 thinking and associated activities, we became dabblers instead of masters… and end up in level 4 if we don’t change.
 
Level 4 is where things don’t feel good and we know that they are not good for anyone, including us. Ultimately that is were we give up on ourselves and our dreams - and life becomes really unpleasant and quite depressing.
 
Now, what has all this to do with being a top performer?
 
Well, the secret is, I think, that people who are really great at what they do and do it with ease, spend most of their time moving between levels 2 and 1, and none (or very little) in level 3. Level 4 does not even exist for them.
 
They choose to be comfortable with being uncomfortable, they take risks, they invest in finding out how to do things better, they cherish their own growth and development and keep putting deposits in their knowledge bank. They are not afraid to make mistakes – that is part and parcel of learning, growth, development and becoming masterful at anything. And they keep coming back for more, and more, and then some.
 
Successful people who get lots done in little time do this by keeping exposing themselves in level 2, till the things they are learning and trying on DO become easy – and move to a level 1 experience. Which is were we watch them and see them acting with such ease, balance and comfort.
 
One of the secrets of those people who seem to get so much done with so much ease may well be that they have paid the price of the discomfort of the unknown, the unfamiliar, the being-a-novice. They were willing to have things not ‘feel’ that good for a while, because they just know : that is what it takes to become a master.
 
If that is what you are interested in your life, in your business, in your career, now you know what to do: take on lots of level 2 experiences, throw yourself into them- and enjoy the ride! And eventually your level of mastery will rise – and you will be looked upon by others as one of those top performing people….. Imagine that!!
 
 
 
Marie-Josee/MJ Boesten from www.sourcefultransition.com.au
 
 
More about the author …
Marie-Josee’s work finds its basis not only in her professional training and 26 years of developing her expertise, she is also strongly influenced by her personal life experience of ongoing transformation & change. She has chosen a number of transitions herself like emigrating to a new continent, changing careers, building her own businesses, having a child at 39, leaving the big city to live in a small country town, to just mention a few.
It would be fair to say that MJ knows what it takes to assist individuals and organisations on their transitional journey, both from her personal life experience as well as decades of studying human development and working with people. 

What To Do When It All Goes Pear Shaped

Have you ever had a setback? Have you ever been disappointed? Have you ever had a moment when the rug has been pulled out from under you?
 
How would you like to know the winning formula for turning setbacks into triumphs?
 
Being able to turn your most challenging times into your most victorious moments is a skill of the most successful. Being able to turn problems into possibilities and obstacles into opportunities is what separates the achievers from the story tellers. These are often your defining moments and what you do with them is critical.
 
I always say, “It’s not how you fall, it’s how you bounce that counts”
 
Here is my 3 step formula for overcoming setbacks …
 
Step 1 – What Really Happened
Often, when things don’t go the way you want them to, you can get wrapped up in the emotion of things. You can become upset and annoyed. Even frustrated. When your vision is clouded with such emotion, it’s difficult to see the path ahead of you.
 
There is a simple explanation for why this happens. When your emotions are high, your logic is low. When your emotions are low, your logic is high.
 
In February 2010, I held my first Get Inspired at High Tea event. It was extremely successful. The feedback was very positive. Everyone who attended had a great time and wanted to know when I was going to hold it again.
 
Now, the next time I planned to hold the event, just a few months later, it ended up being cancelled as we didn’t secure enough bookings. After my initial melt down which consisted of tears and chocolate, I went to work to figure out what really happened. Because coming from a place of emotion isn’t going to help me make it any better.
 
After doing this process that I’m going to share with you I realised was that it wasn’t really about me. They weren’t rejecting me. They weren’t saying I wasn’t good enough. They weren’t even thinking about me. They were simply saying this isn’t the right time or place for me.
 
Once the emotion was gone I was able to see clearly what was actually going on. The best part is that I received emails from some of our community members who are overseas and interstate, telling me how disappointed they were that they couldn’t be there. Definitely not a sign of failure! I would have missed all the positive feedback I had received if I had focused only on what went wrong.
 
So, let’s take some of the emotion out of it for you. Next time you are faced with a setback, here’s what I want you to do.
 
I want you to get a piece of paper and a pen and I want you to write down exactly what happened. All of it. Including the ugly stuff.
 
Then I want you to write it down again. This time with a little bit less emotion.
 
I want you to do this several times. Each time with less and less emotion. Keep going until you come to a place where you realise that you are writing down the facts without the emotion.
 
From this perspective you can look at the event or circumstance with clarity. It definitely takes the sting out of it. You can come to logical conclusions and have a better understanding of what happened.
 
 
Step 2 – Refocus On Your Goal / Outcome
Get back in touch with the goal or outcome that you’re trying to achieve. Polish up the vision. Give it a new coat of paint, or maybe a good dusting. Turn up the volume. Get in touch with how it will feel once you have achieved it. These are all really important things to be doing daily to keep your goal in the front of your mind.
 
 
Step 3 – Adjust Your Trajectory
Say to yourself, “Well, that didn’t work so what do I need to do differently?” Einstein said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different outcome. You need to adjust your course by changing something. Remember Thomas Edison who invented the light bulb. He conducted over 1800 experiments before he discovered the right formula. That’s over 1800 failures. Yet each time, he changed some small element of what he was doing until he came up with the perfect formula.
 
How can you apply this to your goals? What small thing can you change that will adjust your trajectory and make achieving your goal that much easier?
 
 
Now that you’ve looked at what really happened, refocused on your goal, adjusted your trajectory, the only thing left to do now is to do something. That’s right – take action. This is the part where most people stop. This is where the ‘rubber hits the road’ and they become the deer in the headlights. In order to turn this setback into a triumph, you must do something. Take a small step forward. Then follow that with another small step. And so on until you reach your goal.
 
See you on the sunny side.
 
Take care,
 
Jo
 

How To Focus On One Thing At A Time

One of the biggest challenges my private clients, members of my programs and the Coaches that I mentor (not to mention myself at times) experience is focusing on one thing at a time. Through working with me, they’ve uncovered their passion. They’ve also structured their plan of action. They’re excited about bringing life to their dreams. And they want it all now!
 
It’s the NOW part that tends to pose a problem. We live in a society where practically anything can be handed to us immediately. From Big Macs to Flat Screen TV’s, we have become accustomed to having things on demand. 
 
The muscle that we have to work on here is the focus muscle. Understanding that there is a sequence of events that must happen in the proper order can be liberating as well as frustrating at times.
 
Your ability to focus on the task at hand means that you will significantly free up your time because you’ve dramatically improved your productivity. This will give you more time that you can spend enriching your most important relationships. When you become more productive you feel good about the work you’ve done at the end of the day. Most of all, you will achieve your goals much, much sooner. Most of us are guilty, at one point or another, of going after what we want in a very hit and miss fashion. We try and do too many things at once and end up doing very little.
 
Only when your consciousness is totally focused on the moment you are in can you receive whatever gift, lesson, or delight that moment has to offer.Barbara De Angelis
 
I know in my own experience how frustrating it can be to have a clear goal that I want to achieve immediately. It’s like I can almost taste it. Yet I can’t make it happen fast enough. I try desperately to make it happen as quickly as I can only to experience mediocre results. So I have to stop, take stock and start again in a more orderly fashion. I have to focus on the next step only and see it through until completion.
 
So how do we stay focused on one thing at a time?
 
Here are 3 steps that you can implement today to improve your focus and get better results:
 
Step One: Satisfy Your Body First
 
To hold your concentration you need the co-operation of your body. When your body is in a peak physical state , it’ll be fuelled and ready to sustain you. What tends to happen to most of us is we are constantly getting up and moving around, being distracted and not accomplishing very much. You end up being busy but not productive.
 
If I’m hungry, restless, feel fidgety or need some fresh air it’s highly unlikely that I’ll be able to focus. I’ll be distracted by all these things my body is telling me that need to be taken care of. My focus goes to my body, not the task at hand.
 
It’s worth checking in with your body before starting your task to find out if its hungry, thirsty, needs a shower, a stretch or simply a walk. The trick here is not to let that become a part of you procrastinating. Give yourself a couple of minutes to get this done.
 
Step Two: Turn Off The Distractions
The mind can be easily distracted by what it sees or hears around it.  By turning off the distractions, you will remain focused, get more done and the quality of the work you produce will be significantly better. When there are distractions around you it often takes 2, 3 or even 4 times as long to do a simple task.
 
If I am doing any writing or creating, such as a new program or working on my book, it’s essential that I turn off the distractions. Although in some of the previous jobs I’ve had, I was quite used to working in very noisy environments, focusing on the task I want to complete without distractions means that what I produce is of a far better quality.
 
Turn off phones, TV and the likes which might easily cause a distraction for you.  Simply take a look at the space around you and scan for any likely distractions. You’ll know what they are.
 
 
Step Three: 90 Minute Chunks
 
Our concentration span, generally speaking, only lasts for around 90 minutes. This is quite a manageable amount of time and it’s amazing what you can actually achieve when you break your task down to 90 minute chunks. Once you have set yourself a deadline you can also create a reward for yourself. You have a nice goal to work towards. (Perhaps that nice cup of tea and a chocky biscuit! That often works for me)
 
I’ve seen many people sit at their desk from 9am and plough through their day, not stopping to take any breaks, and be completely exhausted and drained by the end of the day. When you don’t schedule in your time into 90 minute chunks, chances are that you’ll be very busy yet not very productive.
 
Those who make the worse use of their time are the first to complain of its shortness.Jean De La Bruyere
 
Give yourself a 90 minute time limit. Solidly sit and work for that 90 minutes. No distractions. Then afterwards, reward yourself with a treat such as a stretch, cup of tea or coffee with a nice biscuit. Perhaps a quick walk around to loosen up the muscles. Make this no more than 5 – 10 minutes. Then it’s back to work for your next 90 minutes.
 
Take Action Challenge: Grow your concentration muscle
 
A five minute daily meditation can sharpen your concentration powers.  Meditation can be as simple as being still and repeating a word or mantra in your thoughts such as, “I am calm, clear and focused” or “Peace”.   
 
Start with one minute ( if you have too) and gradually increase over time. It helps if you keep your eyes soft or closed and breathing relaxed.
 
The purpose of your daily five minute meditation ritual is to let your mind know you are in charge and its not. Nor are the distractions!

Could Your Goals Use A Boost?

Recently I had a conversation with a friend and she was telling me that she established her goals for 2010 but somehow the excitement she had when she did this has fizzled out almost completely. So that prompted me to share with you 3 distinct ways that you can give your goals a boost and make them even easier to achieve.
 
Keeping your goals energised needn’t be difficult or time consuming. Actually it can be quite fun. The sense of purpose and clarity around your direction you feel when you are aligned with your goals means that you will feel calmer and more in control than ever before.
It was Jack Canfield who said “Decide what you want, review it consistently and each day do something that moves you towards those goals.” And did you know that the 5% of the most successful people in the world do just that.
 
A goal is simply a dream with a deadline. Without the deadline, it just remains a dream. Something that you think about often yet don’t really take action to achieve.
 
So how do we give our goals a boost?
 
Step 1: Do a vision board
If you can actually see your goals you have a higher chance of reaching it. Knowing what your goal looks like, feels like, sounds like and what you’ll be telling yourself when you achieve your goal all contribute to the creation of those goals.
 
Simply go on a treasure hunt and look for things that represent the goals that you want to achieve. I remember years ago, I wanted to buy a certain type of car. I went on the internet, found the exact car that I wanted (the right colour and everything), printed it out and stuck it on my vision board. Three months later, I had that exact car.
 
Whether it’s a car or an outfit or a trip overseas, start collecting all the things that represent that goal and stick them on your vision board. Now this can be a piece of cardboard or a corkboard or in a frame of some sort. It doesn’t matter what it is as long as it looks good to you.
 
This is actually a fun process. I really enjoy creating my vision board and so do my clients. It’s great to have it on the wall where you can immerse yourself in it every day.
 
Step 2: Read them every day
It’s really important that you read your goals every day. Take a few minutes every day to visualize what it’s going to be like once you’ve achieved your goal. Take note of what you’re telling yourself now that you have achieved your goal. Sit and admire your vision board. Associate yourself into the pictures and imagine it is you behind the wheel of that car, wearing that drop dead gorgeous outfit or boarding the plane for your overseas trip of a lifetime. The more that you associate yourself into the pictures and feel the feelings of achieving that goal, the more you will bring that goal to you.
 
Step 3: Take action every day
Every day you must do at least one thing that will move you closer to achieving your dreams. This will give your goal some traction and allow you to bring your goal closer to fruition. It doesn’t have to be something huge. Remember, the smaller pieces are, the easier it is to achieve. And after a while, the small pieces turn into huge chunks and your goal is amazingly closer than you could have imagined.
 
So, pick your biggest goal. Break it down into smaller action steps and commit to completing at least one every day.
 
For me, writing my book at the moment is my biggest goal. One of my action steps is to sit down and write for 30 minutes every day. The more that I do this, the easier it is to do. I feel more connected to my message, it is easier to write and the words simply flow out my fingers.
 
Now it’s your turn. Follow these steps and watch the difference it makes to achieving your goals.

Your Personal Power

Have you ever noticed that sometimes we do more to help someone else overcome the most difficult of obstacles than we do for ourselves? In my work, I’ve found that most people will care for themselves to a point yet will go above and beyond for others often at their own expense.

This is because when you walk into the unknown you are really walking into your fear. Fear is simply an acronym for False Expectations Appearing Real. It’s a future perception that there will be more pain than pleasure, more bad than good, more sad than happy.

In this universe, everything is in balance. There is never more pain than please, bad than good, sad than happy. It’s just our perception. We often become paralyzed by fear when we think about doing something in the future that we aren’t sure of. Our doubts creep into our conscious thought and we start to imagine the worst case scenario’s.

When we break it down, fear is just a perception that if we go to that ‘place’ we won’t be able to handle it. We won’t be able to handle whatever we are confronted with. We won’t have the tools or skills necessary. We won’t be fully equipped to deal with the possibilities that may arise.

The way that you manage fear is actually quite easy. The first thing you need to do is get specific with what the fear is really all about. What are you really afraid of? Chunk it down until you can come up with something that you feel emotional about. Then, write a list of all the benefits of actually doing the thing you are afraid of. Keep writing the benefits until the fear no longer exists. Then, when you have balanced out your lopsided perceptions you won’t feel afraid anymore. You’ll be able to make a clear decision on the right course of action without the emotions getting in the way. You will have more clarity and certainty about the right path.

When we balance out any lopsided emotions, we really step into our own Personal Power. We are able to make better decisions and the path to carrying out our goals becomes clearer. Doesn’t that sound like something better to focus on?

What You Focus On Is What You Get

What do you need to focus on today to ensure that you have an outstanding tomorrow?

Where you are today has been determined by the decisions you made yesterday and the day before and so on. Your today has happened because of the ‘Power’ you gave it yesterday. Your ‘Power’ is the culmination of your thoughts, feelings, emotions and what you tell yourself.

So what needs to change today to make tomorrow the most outstanding day? What things do you need to bring into your world today to create the tomorrow that you desire?

Are you going to wake up tomorrow morning and say to yourself,

“I have so much to do today. I have to do this and this and this and by the time I’ve done all of these things, I’ll have no time for the things I truly want to do. There are so many demands on me right now. Life sucks.”

What if you were to wake up tomorrow morning and say to yourself,

“Today, I have a fair amount of things to do, but, if I concentrate on getting the ‘have to do’s’ done first, then I will be free to do the things I want to do later.”

How much different would it feel if you were to change the way you talk to yourself? For example:

“It’s too hard. I can’t do it.”

Change it to:

“It’s a challenge, but I’ll give it a go.”

What we focus on is what we will find evidence of, to the exclusion of everything else. We can only experience what we search for. So, why not search for the positives in your life. Give the positives all the power you can and take the momentum away from the negative. You might be surprised by the result.

Let’s Have A Look

As today is the 10th July, I thought it would be befitting to have a look at the year so far. What changes have you made? What is different this year to last year? What’s the same?

As you have a look around your life right now, notice what you’re telling yourself. Are you saying, “Well, not much has changed” or are you saying “I’m glad I’m not doing that anymore.” Either way, it’s a great time to be having a look and assessing what the next 6 months are going to be like.

Remember, the quality of your life is directly related to the quality of the relationship you have with yourself. When you love and accept yourself, you attract better things - people, experiences, opportunities - into your life. As you look at yourself, what do you find yourself thinking? Are you rushing to cover up your body or do you simply let it all hang out and embrace your curves and bumps? Taking the time to inventory your positive changes is an important step in developing this relationship with yourself.

You can reflect on the past six months by answering the following questions:

  1. What have you noticed about yourself that you didn’t know before?
  2. What changes have you made in your home or office that are serving you now?
  3. What changes have you made to better honour yourself?
  4. What small pleasures have you added to make your life a little better?
  5. Have you forgiven yourself for something you did that’s been on your mind? If not, when is a good time to let that go?
  6. Have you taken better care of yourself - mind, body and spirit?
  7. Have you improved your communication with the ones you love?
  8. Are you choosing an easier life?
  9. Are you allowing yourself to shine?
  10. Are you loving who you are?

As you ponder these questions, allow yourself to focus on what’s working instead of what isn’t. When you acknowledge your growth, you build your self-esteem and self-respect. These are two of the most important aspects of your growth and learning to love who you are. Acknowledge what you have done and the new things you are embracing.

The greatest gift you can give to humanity is your commitment to constantly raise your level of consciousness. Each week, as you embrace another part of you and learn to live a healthier and more creative life, you do just that. This is some of the most important work you can do.

Action step:

Celebrate your successes. Make a list of at least five positive changes you’ve made so far this year. It’s extremely important to put this list in writing as it sends a message to yourself that you are worth the time and effort. When your self-worth increases, your world responds accordingly. You will become a magnet for possibility.